Fear and No Regrets

Once again I apologize for my lack of flow in this post.  It is kind of two parts.  The first is business and the second is more emotional.

So this past week was finals week which means life was crazy but I did manage to get a few things for my study abroad done.  I submitted my paperwork regrading classes I would like to take while I am there. Two of my required classes are language classes (standard Arabic and colloquial Arabic) which I will take a placement test for.  I have also decided to aim for a second major which will be in Economics.  One of my courses abroad will hopefully be an economics class regarding the middle east.  I have also looked into a class on political Islam which looks at the impact that Islam has in the politics of today and I have also looked at an archeology course. Another option I am looking into is an internship.  I wont know what classes I will get until I actually arrive in Jordan.

Another bit of exciting news is that my mom bought my plane ticket.  I leave on September 1 and arrive in Amman on September 2.  My flight is from KC to Chicago and then onto Amman.

Last Sunday I was feeling an enormous amount of anxiety.  I'm sure it was a combination of a lack of sleep along with the emotional aspect of what the following week represented (my final week on the hill).   Everything I did seemed to make me emotional and very fearful.  It was really the first time I have felt fear towards the trip.  I am in no way scared of where I am going but rather of the distance, the time and what I will miss out on while I am away. I was also feeling quite home sick last weekend and that certainly didnt help. 

Right now I am sitting in the social lounge of my sorority's wing.  Most of my sisters have gone home and that was another thing that got me upset. Goodbyes arent fun for anyone but these were more difficult than others for a few reasons. One is that I was very close to a lot of the graduating class so it was difficult to see them go but two because of those who will return in the fall, I probably wont see again for about 7 months.  A lot of my sorority sisters have been joking with me saying that I should just not go.  Every time this happens it is a bit encouraging.  I know that doesnt make sense so let me explain.  When they say this I always try to find a good response to their request.  I have finally found one that neither they nor I can argue with and that is that I will regret it for the rest of my life if I do not go.  I base a lot of my decisions on whether or not I will regret doing or not doing something, right or wrong, thats what I do.